At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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