i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
