Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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