we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
