I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
