I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
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