Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
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