You work out of a Hotel?
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
