she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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