butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Drunk is not a location!
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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