are you still at the devil's house?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
