You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
