absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
