Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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