My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
