Non-Jews are for practice
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Houston, we have a squirter
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm too high and old for this...
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
