His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
