careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
