Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
