tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I think I won the penis lottery.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
We're too hungover to prance.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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