I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
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