I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
