i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
