Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Randomize
