think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize
