remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
