I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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