So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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