i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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