Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
