My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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