it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
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