hotel room ftw
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
