wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
and she was petting her beer can
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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