Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
