Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
