i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
