Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
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