First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
they need to just BURY HIM!
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
