He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i used baking grease as lip gloss
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
