I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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