Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
