i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
