the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
