i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
