This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
My feet surprised me
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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