if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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