dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Im part way to drunk.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
