tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
