They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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