wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
