i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
